The Missing Piece. #26 in the kimono series
We all have something missing in our lives that we wish would come back “just like it used to be:” a person, a feeling, a precious something, a home, a family, security, good health
, a pet…. That thought has been a little voice humming a tune in the background like a “sticky tune” that won’t go away. Something is gone and we either accept and adapt or we stop in our tracks and wither up. Every one of us has something/someone we don’t have any more and won’t ever have again. That thought became yet another kimono in my series in a particularly playful way that involves a jigsaw puzzle and a cat.
Historically, I have not been particularly fond of jigsaw puzzles. In spite of…..or pehaps because of that, I was gifted with one with 500 pieces in a complicated and colorful image (much better than the 1000 pieces that I attempted to tackle the previous winter!) I decided I would give it an honest try. Puzzle time became a regular autumn evening event. I surprisingly found the time to be wonderful thinking time which gradually turned that “sticky tune” into a kimono image that I would paint right on the completed puzzle.
I noticed that my curious cat, Katy, took some interest in it also to the point that now and then I would find her walking off with a puzzle piece between her teeth. That made me aware that it would be highly possible that despite my clever efforts to protect them, some of the pieces could be someplace else than the desk where I “puzzled.”
As the last pieces were going in to place, it became clear that Katy, had, in fact, removed a strategic piece and hid it behind a cabinet or under a rug or wherever cat toys go. The connection between my my musings and the puzzling reality became obvious: Katy and I had collaborated on a kimono!
Watercolor would not cover the puzzle design, so I coated the puzzle with gesso and used gouache, a water medium but much more opaque that my typical transparent watercolor. I wanted to push into a new direction and took inspiration from a cloth kimono that I made in 1982 (long before this series began) and hangs on my studio wall, using the images of flowers on a simple background, trimmed in metallic gold; a simple, soft and gentle design…..with one piece missing.
The Missing Piece. #26 in the kimono series Read More »
on this site, many of the hundreds of images of the horses I had spent time with at Solstice Ranch, just down the road from where I live. You can see many images from that experience 
the position of the eyes, the muscles of the neck…so much different from horse anatomy. The time with the horses had made me much more aware. That small step then led to drawing more cows, and then the horses out in the pasture and then a hen and her baby chicks, and then so much more.
to photograph for later interpretation, or even better to return with the proper equipment to mindfully draw
or paint them en plein air. One day, it may be an Angus cow, another day a chicken, or the mountains, and often the road itself. As a result, I now have a collection of these morning encounters: Perhaps the biggest personal discovery is that the horse was not the destination of this journey. Rather, , the horses have carried me to this point of new awareness. It’s a process and a meaningful one. It is prayer-full and heart-felt. When I am in this space, I know I am on holy ground. As of now, I am writing, walking, and doing watercolor or drawing every single day, with very few exceptions. My WWW practice. It has made a difference. Sharing them to my 
present to me. Since much of their time involves eating with heads down in food bins with their less than poetic tail end facing me, I have a lot of drawings of horse butts!!! On cooler days they frequently wear their blankets (which I have started to think of as kimonos) and in the spring/summer they often wear face masks to protect their eyes from flies. There are many challenges to an optimal drawing time.
During some very special sessions, I have privileged moments when they share interactions with each other. Several times I have been able to witness them in positions reminiscent of two or three good friends sharing some good serious conversations. Other times I witnessed them engaged in “mutual grooming,” when they spontaneously start scratching each others’ backs in a kind and caring gesture. This is something I was not aware that horses did but see frequently now. Each time, it feels like I am seeing it for the first time.
listening, and responding with the heart. To really draw the horse, I need to relate to the horse at many levels and, for a few short moments, become the horse. I think something akin to that is also true of horse and rider. To see some of the new drawings, please check out the portfolios of art under Artwork at the top of this page.
and even the slightest movement changes the line of the back or the position of a leg rather dramatically. So I drew fast and furious and by the end of that first session I had pretty much filled that sketch book with scribbles that vaguely resemble horses. It was almost as if my hand 
was searching for a line that said “horse,” My strokes were uncertain and hesitant, but occasionally inside I could feel a gentle shift happening toward awareness, when the vision my eye saw was connecting directly to my heart and from there to my hand and then to the paper I was drawing on. That eye-heart-hand response that bypasses the analytical brain is something I learned over 40 years ago from friend and mentor Frederick Franck, whose books on seeing/drawing as meditation (The Zen of Seeing) have shaped my history as an artist. The only way to learn this is by drawing with mindful awareness. But how was I to learn how to meditate on a horse? to become one with a horse? to see deep inside the horse’s spirit and let that flow through eye, heart, and hand?
and drawn some more, encouraged by the paraphrased words of Kimon Nicolaides, 19th century artist and author of The Natural Way to Draw, “the sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you can correct them.” I was well on my way! My muscle memory of drawing them gradually got a bit keener, allowing me to get a line down easier, much like your hand remembers how to form the letter of your signature without consciously thinking about how to form each letter.
being watched by a horse behind me until I started to pack my gear. Had she been watching over my shoulder the whole time? I went over to the gate to have a little chat. She came to me willingly, nuzzled a bit as I stroked her chin and then unexpectedly lifted her head and placed it on top of mine. I had been hugged by a horse! To this horse I was obviously not just a person, but this person, someone she was getting to know. This is Truleigh. She has acknowledged me often this way and it is truly a very special experience.
how few lines were really necessary to draw a horse. Turns out that it is not all that many. One day I jokingly said to a kindred soul, “I wonder if they will just get simpler and simpler until they become just a single dot on a page?” Later, after spending time with that very thought, I realized that the single dot is not the drawing but it is that still point in my soul where I find the peace where drawing takes me. At this point in the journey I have learned so much about horses, but I have also learned a lot about myself.
grandmothers of Ukraine and the beautiful Polish women who welcomed them into their homes; bluebirds and nuthatches in their springtime nests around our home, the novel I was reading about the women of the Great Plains, young women giving birth, family stories…..all spoke of motherhood to me. Everywhere I turned I seemed to be met by mothers and their strength and beauty.
There are many wonderful reasons for maintaining my website and blog but perhaps the one that brings me the most joy is like the one that happened recently. A name appeared on a contact form in my mailbox with a fun description of some antics in a biology class in the late 70’s when I taught biology at VMA in Erie. Several emails were exchanged and stories told of all that has transpired on both ends of the story fleshing out some old memories from long ago. I LOVE being able to do that and to learn about where life has taken my students. So many have found me with a google search that lead them to my website. Some visit for a span and others have become life long friends. It happens more than I ever would have anticipated. This particular reunion had yet another element. “How did you happen to look for me at this time?” I said. “Marie, I think of you every week when I dust a framed drawing my mother gave me in the mid-90’s!” After I asked her to send me a photo, I was gobsmacked (have wanted to use that word!) to 
see a drawing I did in Holland in 1984 while on a solo backpacking trip through Europe to draw and paint and visit the museums, under the direction of my friend and mentor Frederick Franck. So, it became a double reunion with my student Kathy and with Femke and her mother, the models in that drawing. Who knew that dusting could bring so much pleasure?
